Wooo...Scary Shoes!

Bonjour Lovelies!

I'm Le ShoeGal, the new girl @ ShoeIQ. I'll be serving up sweet, tangy, and spicy dishes of celebs + shoes each and every Thursday.

In the festive spirit of October and Halloween, I have collected some deliciously scaaaary shoes for you (got goosebumps?). If you have yet to choose a costume, you've come to the right place. Every shoe-obsessed girl knows that you design the costume around the shoes. You may want to hold your own hand for this one or peek slowly between your fingers. These shoes are not for the faint of heart...

Country bumpkins no longer, you and J. Simp are now fierce red, white, and blue-clad femmes. Sworn to protect and serve with your breasts of steel and your blinding Brite Smile teeth. Your most secret weapon is, of course, your boots. They stomp enemies into submission, allow you to tower (sometimes teeter) over foes, and kick the @#%* out of ex-husbands everywhere.

Like to be different? You'll be the only girl at the Halloween party wearing the Confused Masochistic Glam Lumberjack costume! You'll want to start practicing your angry cut-'em-down squint, a la Avril. She's very mad because someone spit on the forest paparazzi before she could. Make sure to stake out the party's coolest hang-out spot, because you won't be able to move after that: the buckles on these babies will keep you from tromping about. The effect will be most potent if you yell "Timber" after toppling over from cut-off circulation. Sweet!

Hey ya'll, this is the easiest costume yet! Grab yourself some Uggs, let your thong hang out, slap a doll (not a real baby!) on your hip, and voila: you are white trash mama. Wanna jazz it up a little? Add smeared eye makeup, a glass of booze, pack of Marlboros, and some Cheetos stains on your jeans. Going all out? Accidentally drop your "baby" a few times during the night...but never, EVER let your glass of alky spill.

And what White Trash Mama ensemble is complete without...

Here's a costume for the lucky homme in your life. Kev is even providing some helpful hints as to where he got those sneaks: he's pointing at the dumpster off-screen. Although wearing your Nike's in that manner (tongue hanging out, half-laced) went out in the 80's, that doesn't mean your guy can't pretend that he looks hot! Although a threadbare white man tank usually accompanies the Baby Daddy costume, your man can change it up with a tee bearing the logo of his faux record label -- just like Kevin. To make it really authentic, he can: throw on some bling, spout some lines from CSI, and "rap" Popozao. Your job as White Trash Mama is to pretend (as best you can) that you think he's soooooo talented.

For the boys out there, we've got another option: The Tortured Emo Gardener. Jared Leto shows us that with silver metallic Crocs and black garb, you too can be artsy. Is he a gardener...is he a robot...perhaps he's a depressed tin man? Nothing makes the girlies swoon like a mystery man! And nothing says enigma like silver rubbery swiss cheese shoes. Feel free to add a book of poetry (Edgar Allan Poe), pins of bands you don't really listen to, and cry every now and then. Sigh! He's just so...deep.

Alas, it's time to close for now -- but the fun doesn't have to stop here. Tell me about the scariest/ugliest celeb shoes you've ever seen...or simply say hello. I'd love to hear from you and I hope to see you back next Thursday!