Fashion Roadkill!

London Fashion Week, dateline September 19th. Up and coming designers Sinha-Stanic debut their spring 2007 line. The stage is set: a stark warehouse, unforgiving light, thumping bass. The fashonistas scowl from their metal folding chairs. Clean lines, edgy details, flowy dre… whoooooooaa….ooooofsplattt!

Down for the count. Fashion roadkill. Yes the whole sorry scene was straight out of a five year old episode of Sex and the City (whereby poor Carrie B, clad in little more than flesh toned glittery underwear, tripped and was unceremoniously was stepped on by Heidi Klum.) And no wonder. Check out the shoes on those babes! These are no shoes for amateurs. Or professionals, apparently.

Platforms are huge this season, (pun shameless intended) but lest we all wind up arse over elbows, staring cigarette butts in the face on the sidewalk, all twisted ankles and skinned knees, let’s set forth a few guidelines for platforms.

1. When the world wonders if your choice in footwear is more medical than fashionable, perhaps one should consider a different shoe.

2. When your gait resembles that of an Imperial Walker battling the Jedi in a fierce shootout on the ice planet Hoth, maybe a nice ballet flat would suffice.

3. There’s a time and a place for these:

10:45 am at the office is neither.

4. And above all, recognize your limits! What works on one girl may not work for all…